When we have the feeling in our mind that we are not up to the mark and to escape from the feeling that we are not enough we strain ourselves by doing more and make our life stressful and unfulfilling. We develop a feeling of shame when we think that we have not achieved enough. We only make our life tiresome by struggling daily to see to it that we are enough. Many people live like this for years together. What are the reasons for this and what makes us to operate from this paradigm?
Trying to get approval from our group
Though now we live in the modern world our minds act in the same way as the minds of our ancestors who lived during the stone age. Since we live in today’s world, our minds can do wonders in fact. But, the first task of the mind is to keep the person alive. In those days when our ancestors lived, survival was the biggest problem. Humans could survive as a group but when left alone they could not survive. When a man was sent out of the group it was sure that he will be finished by a predator or by a violent tribe. Hence man made all efforts to get the approval by the rest of the group. This practice made us to conduct self-assessment every now and then and we always wanted to confirm that we are fit and are sufficiently contributing to the group so that we will not be rejected.
We waste our time and resources to impress people who never care us
The grave mistake that we make always is that we compare us to other people and try to find out ways to get their approval. In ancient times people lived in tribes and the comparison was only to those who were in the tribe. But, today technology has enabled us to see millions and millions of people the world over. Every day, when we find lacs and lacs of people who are better-looking, sexier, richer and achieving more in their life, we come to the conclusion that we are not enough and achieved only very little. As a result of this comparison, we lose our self-confidence and even develop depression. Some of us strain and struggle to meet those standards which in fact is not possible. Many among us fail to do things that will really make our life happy and comfortable. We struggle to impress some other people who never care for us.
Failing to realize our self-worth
Each one of us is worthy and our worth is inherent. The feeling that we are not enough is the outcome of the wrong conditioning of our minds. The truth is that we are worthy irrespective of whether we do, get or achieve. All men and women are born worthy. Our worth is inherent and not conditional. You can’t say that you are worth only if you achieve. Each one of us is a significant part of life and each one is more than enough. If we do something and achieve something that will not add more worthiness to us. When we realize that the feeling that we are not enough is an old strategy of the mind which is the result of evolution and is in no way connected to the truth, we will be able to free ourselves from the grip of that feeling.
Stop approval-seeking and start doing something meaningful and purposeful
Once you have realized your self-worth you will be able to stop wasting your time and energy for impressing others, seeking approval of others and trying to achieve more than what is possible and what is actually required. When you become aware that you are enough, you start speaking and acting differently. You will be able to focus all your energy for meaningful and purposeful tasks.