Is it possible to judge our thoughts, but without first judging ourselves? Humans are active thinkers, with their minds chattering constantly. We tend to come up with various reasons about our being right and them being wrong. In case, we experience any bad interaction anywhere, we have the tendency to replay the situation every moment to analyze it. We also have developed the habit to attach extremely deep meaning into most of our thoughts, while we judge ourselves & others.
It is quite natural for us to get caught in a web of self judgement & negative thoughts. This in turn is likely to impact your subsequent interactions with the other person due to being extremely self-conscious.
What is the role of mindfulness?
It provides us with the learning that thoughts are merely thoughts. One effective mindful practice that you need to learn is to keep your mind open to all thoughts that come in. Each thought should be visualised as a leaf which floats down a stream. There is no need to analyze the intricate patterns or the leaf.
What is mindfulness?
It is actually paying attention towards the current moment you are in, but non-judgementally. You need to create a distance between your thoughts. Doing so does help to create some space within you. It also makes you to become more thoughtful and less reactive, while you can indulge yourselves completely in the current moment.
According to the experts, it is stated to be mindfulness especially from psychological perspective.
Bu few thoughts might not be completely void of judgements. In case a monk thinks lustfully about a woman, then these thoughts are likely to be inconsistent, especially with the vows taken or lifestyle chosen. Similarly, thoughts of greed, envy or jealousy may only cause more harm.
Mindfulness helps to create a difference between the person and his/her thoughts. Thoughts do not define you. Having lustful or envious thoughts does not necessarily make you a bad person. Thoughts can be judged upon without actually judging the person.
Mindfulness in several spiritual traditions is considered to be remembrance of something outside the person. Focus is on something that is external to us and not on ourselves. You will get anchored in something which is not likely to change based upon time or on your mood.
The monk who is having lustful thoughts, but refrains from self-judgement is likely to find himself in similar position quite soon. But if he recalls the vows or values that he chose, he will be in a better position to evaluate if his thoughts abide by his moral principles. Based upon his thoughts, he does not consider himself as good or bad. Also, he does not experience self-judgements or self-depreciating thoughts. Although morally wrong because of religious commitments, he does not do away with his lustful thoughts. In the future, he does remember his core values and what he is and accordingly acts in a manner which is consistent to his set values.
For those without particular religious background might value virtues like courage, kindness & generosity. Mindfulness can assist in aligning your values with your thoughts.